What to Say Instead of Good Job
The problem with good job
"Good job" tells a child that the verdict comes from outside. It works in the short term and quietly teaches children to check for a reaction before deciding whether their work was any good.
Describe what you see
"You carried the whole jug without spilling." "You put every red button in the left bowl." Description lets a child see their own accomplishment without needing your judgement attached.
Notice effort, not outcome
"You tried three ways before that worked." Effort is the part a child controls, which makes it the part worth naming.
Ask instead of rating
"How did you decide which one went first?" A question hands the evaluation back. It also tells you what the child understands.
Use fewer words
A nod and a smile is often enough. Constant narration becomes background noise, and children learn to tune it out.
Be careful with the word perfect
Perfection is not a Montessori goal and it is not achievable. "Finished" or "steady" are more useful words for a child building a sense of their own competence.
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